Finding a way to cope… To not feel so alone in the struggle that is Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)… To feel more connected… That is the reason I choose to reach out to others, and likewise for examining and reviewing the ways in which others express their life experiences with BPD.
It is with great honor, warrior to warrior, that I share my thoughts after reviewing a blog authored by BPD Luna… This Borderline Life. Thank you BPD Luna for granting me permission to review and comment on your blogging work, and also for having the courage to author and offer up this part of your life to others so perhaps their suffering may be less.
The first thing I can say is that while I don’t know you BPD Luna, not even your offline name, I do know some of your struggles, and think I can say with confidence that I understand how the difficulty doesn’t end, rather it only gets more manageable with time and learning. I understand feeling suicidal and sensing things coming to an end. I understand feeling good for nothing and forgetting every good thing I have to offer this world. I understand getting owned by BPD.
In your blog I noticed the frustration with the world as it is… a place that just doesn’t accommodate BPD very well at times, even the hospital and help lines. I noticed feelings of shame, of desperation, of worthlessness, of fear (of abandonment), of rejection, and sometimes just being completely fed up with so much feeling and having “give up” moments that accumulate and interfere with everyday life… all completely understandable given the events related and place of progress in BPD recovery.
I recognize and resonate with the frustration of learning new skills like mindfulness, noticing judgments and cognitive distortions, but then also the sense of confidence that comes when you are finally seeing the errors for what they are and not being completely owned by them. I applaud your diligence in making those strides in learning, and also for promoting honesty about having a condition like BPD that can be so debilitating. You have the true heart of a warrior for working through the struggle, even when it’s hard.
The desire to be real and to practice vulnerability, rather than being fake… That is something that comes with real progress. I wish I could be as honest and open as you are about life events that frankly speak to the BPD struggle. I am sort of shy that way, but you tell it like it is BPD Luna. Thank you for putting your words on the Internet, and through your experience allowing others to see that there is a path to a better place.
To all that read this blog post/blog review, I highly recommend that you take a moment to access This Borderline Life to help with your journey in better understanding and healing from Borderline Personality Disorder.