**The ideas contained in this post are the opinions of the writer and communicated without reference to supporting documentation. Any uses of “she” or “he” in the communication of ideas are not intended to covey sexual bias. Breakaway MHE Disclaimer
In addition to experiencing ongoing difficulties with emotions and behavior in Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), there are also certain patterns of thought that tend to get formed and influence the extent to which emotions and behavior remain a problem. These patterns of thought tend to be biased, meaning there is a failure in the thoughts to account for many details of the lived experience, and instead oversimplify and overlook things. Said another way, these types of thoughts fail to incorporate objective facts that are relevant to the here and now (to reality).
These types thoughts have been given various names and ways to notice, discuss, and make adjustments, by psychological theorists and practitioners such as Aaron Beck and David Burns. I prefer to use Aaron Beck’s term “cognitive distortion” when teaching others about the possible thought-related challenges associated with BPD. Cognitive distortions can be grouped into different categories, and making these distinctions really helps in the process of becoming increasingly mindful and self-reflective of thoughts. I would say it is in fact critical that a person struggling with BPD learns “a way” to notice what is happening with the thoughts in order to start making adjustments to them, and so also to reduce any related emotional suffering and behavioral issues.
As we move forward with the 9-steps, I will share slides that depict at least ten of the most common “cognitive distortions” that get experienced by those who suffer with BPD. At this point, it is important to know that “cognitive distortions” in fact happen and that they can induce a “vicious circle” of thought, feeling, and behavior… meaning that one distorted thought can trigger many difficult emotions, and thereafter a whole range of other unhealthy thoughts and feelings can come into being and affect how a person functions day-to-day (problems with reactions, communication, problem-solving, for instance).
As long as we are living and thinking, there is always the potential for experiencing these kinds of distorted thoughts, and therefore also to experience all of the emotional side-effects that come from thoughts. It could happen in both awake-time and sleep-time. All that needs to occur is an event, or a thought or memory of an event, such that a person tends to “make meaning” of the event (to start thinking about it).
Many of the thoughts that we experience may have some association with parts of our past, such that we may be inclined to interpret new events according to the ways we first experienced people and the world, healthy or unhealthy as they may be. So for instance, if we were constantly blamed for things that weren’t our fault when we were young (say by an authority figure, like a parent) we may have an ongoing tendency to take blame for situations that (in fact) are not so simple to settle. It therefore may be considered “self-defeating” to impulsively assume blame when further analysis of life situations might paint an entirely different picture, or suggest many possible avenues of accountability.
The strange thing about self-defeating beliefs (again such as chronic self-blame, or believing that problems are bound to be your fault) is that people actually start to get accustomed to the beliefs and even want to hold on to them. To act in ways that do not support the beliefs may in fact induce lots of anxiety! And you’ll see why…
Assumption of blame, for instance, may have been a way to make sense of the world in a particular time and place. It may likewise have provided a way to “stay safe” from authority figures who may otherwise have become extremely abusive… perhaps rejecting or demeaning, or even physically harmful… if blame wasn’t assumed. Problems with these sorts of beliefs may arise, however, because a person tends to assume it is needed for ALL times and places of life (even into adulthood and long after childhood is over).
Being assertive in adulthood is a very important skill so as to solve problems and get needs met, although it may be extremely difficult for someone with a self-blame belief pattern to do this. Being assertive means standing up for yourself somewhat, but according to a self-defeating belief pattern would be a very dangerous/risky thing to do, because the assumed consequence is that something much more emotionally (or physically) painful will happen if the belief isn’t honored.
Chronic judgments made towards the self in this type of scenario make a lot of sense. And if there is one thing that humans tend to prefer, that is maintain and returning to safety rather than making moves they believe may result in harm to self (or to others close to them). Considering the example portrayed here, perhaps you are starting to see how beliefs, thoughts, emotions, and anxiety may all play a role in a mental health issue, and in particular a Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) experience.